Go Shorty It's Your Birthday - Unisex Tank Top Size:3XL The Schwartz ring comparison scene

The Schwartz ring comparison scene aged like wine stored in a Winnebago doing hyperspace

white block text reads "TOILET CLOGGING" with cursive white script reading "Champ" underneath

Nobody ever complained about the coaching

Bold dark green serif text below reads "WHO CUT ONE

Go Shorty It's Your Birthday - Unisex Tank Top Size:3XL The Schwartz ring comparison sceneCalling America "shorty" is the most honest form of patriotism left. Every Fourth of July proves the country celebrates its birthday less like a dignified nation and more like someone who just got bottle service at the club. The Details: Curved distressed white text reads "GO SHORTY" across the top, arching over a distressed white silhouette of the continental United States flanked by a small five pointed star on each side. Wavy white text below reads